Out of Control! - Rom 8:18-39

By Amber Bruce

This is our final week of the series, Fearless: Walking by Faith! This week, Pastor Dave looks at the fear of losing control from Romans 8:18-39. There are a few questions that may lead to some long, deep discussions, so plan your time accordingly.

1. Are you a person who really likes routine or are you more spontaneous? What would others say about you?

This question might seem like it comes out of the blue, but we do have purposes behind it. First, it is important, both for the flow of the discussion and for the growing connection between group members, to begin with a sharing or “ice-breaker” type question. Second, this question can be a fun way to draw out an aspect of each one’s personality that tells the group something about their desire for control.

As the leader, you may want to make this connection for your group after they have answered the questions. You could follow up with a question like, “What does that say about your desire to hold onto control?”

2. Read Romans 8:18-39 and review the following:

a. Why does creation groan? Why do God’s children groan? Why does God groan?

Pastor Dave pointed out that we live in a world polluted by sin. Things are not as they should be. This world is no longer our home. Lots of things don’t work out for good in this lifetime. We are all waiting for God’s justice and goodness to be fully realized when he rights all wrongs and brings true peace and harmony to all of creation (Acts 3:21; Isa. 11:6-9).

b. What is our hope (vv. 24-25)? How does it help us through the groaning?

Our hope is the completion of our salvation, which will be brought to us at the second coming of Jesus (1 Pet 1:5,9,13). It gives us a concrete and guaranteed (Rom 4:16; 2 Cor 1:22; 5:5; Eph 1:14; Heb 6:17) promise to look forward to, so that we can wait for it with patience (v. 25).

c. What does the Spirit do for us in our groaning (vv. 26-27)?

The Spirit prays in our place with groanings too deep for words.

d. When it says God works all things out for the good of those who love Him (v. 28), what is “the good”?

We already talked about how bad this world is, and how many things don’t work out for good. So how does that relate to this promise? The ESV Study Bible note on this verse offers some helpful insight:

“The ‘good’ in this context does not refer to earthly comfort but conformity to Christ (v. 29), closer fellowship with God, bearing good fruit for the kingdom, and final glorification (v. 30).”

e. In light of verses 31-39, how can we know that God is trustworthy?

In this section, Paul posits the work of Christ on the cross as the basis for our trust in God, and gives us five reasons we can trust God based on the cross, listed below. You may want to look at the passage together and come up with as many reasons as you can for trusting in God.

• God gave his Son for us, how will he withhold anything else (Rom 8:32)?
• God himself has declared us righteous, so who is there to condemn us (Rom 8:33-34a)?
• Jesus himself is our Great High Priest, and stands praying for us before the Father, whose prayers could be more effective (Rom 8:34b)?
• Jesus loved us so much that he made the ultimate sacrifice for us while we were his enemies (see Rom 5:8), what could ever separate us from that love now (Rom 8:35-39)?
• The work of Christ has turned our persecution and dishonor and suffering into glory (more than conquerors, Rom 8:37), so we can trust him even in the worst of times.

3. What would it look like to rest in God’s control? Can you think of any illustrations from the Bible?

In our discussion during question writing, we came up with several illustrations of people in the Bible who were resting in God’s control: Abraham when he was commanded to sacrifice Isaac. It wasn’t easy, and it was done with sadness, but the obedience was prompt and the trust was complete (see Heb 11:19); Shadrach, Mesach, and Abednego who trusted God’s ability to spare their lives from the furnace, and trusted him whether he would exert that power or not (Daniel 3:16-18); and Mary, the sister of Martha, as she sat at Jesus’ feet listening to him rather than rushing around working for him (Luke 10:38-42).

4. What prevents you from resting in God’s control?

These are some possible answers as examples to jumpstart the discussion: I don’t like his idea of “good”; I don’t trust him; I enjoy being in control; If I don’t do it, who will?; I’m scared of the unknown.

5. Read Phil 2:12-13; 4:6-7. How do we balance the tension between personal responsibility and leaving things up to God?

We need to trust and obey, not use “trust” as an excuse not to obey, or “obedience” as an excuse not to trust. There is no true obedience without trust (Heb 11:6), and there is no true trust without obedience (James 2:17). John 15:5 makes it clear that we can do nothing without abiding in Christ.

To balance this, we need to practice obedience from a place of rest. This means our obedience is not done out of guilt, or out of a need for acceptance, a desire for control, or to prove our own worth. Rather, our obedience comes from a deep-seated knowledge that we are accepted, righteous, and of great worth already by our position in Christ, from an abiding trust that God’s commands are perfect, trustworthy, and good, and from the power given to us by the Holy Spirit as we abide in Christ.

6. Parents: Watch the 2-min video by Kevin DeYoung on RightNow Media, “Stop Freaking Out About Your Kids.” Are you banking on your quality of parenting to produce “good” kids? How can you entrust your children to God?

As parents, we tend to think we are in control. We have this idea of our children as machines: good parenting in, goods kids out. The reality is that we cannot control any part of our children. We can do our best, or even our worst, and God will use it in their lives the way he deems best. We need to trust God that He is working in us as we parent our children, and that He is working everything together for good for those who love him (our good parenting, our bad parenting, our children’s good decisions, their bad decisions).

We also need to remember that the Proverbs are principles, not promises. What does that mean? It means that, “Train up your child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it,” (Prov 22:6) is a statement about how life generally works, not a promise that if you do your best as a parent, your children will grow up to be productive, happy, Christian adults. There is no promise like that in the Bible. There is only the promise that all things will work together for good for those who love God.

7. What do you think the Lord wants you to take away from the Fearless series?

You might rephrase this, “What do you think the Lord wants to communicate to you from the Fearless series? How does he want you to obey?”

You may want to ask this question in gender groups, depending on the dynamics of your group.

The Fear of Suffering - Romans 5:1-5

By Amber Bruce

This week we continue our series, Fearless: Walking By Faith, by looking at fear of suffering from Romans 5:1-5.

As a leader, you may want to read this article by David Zuleger to help you prepare for group discussion.

A common stumbling block in our society is the question, “Why would a compassionate God allow suffering?” Though this question is not directly asked or addressed in the following questions, it is answered indirectly throughout as we look at the benefits of suffering and the good God can produce through it. For more on this specific topic, we recommend this 20-minute session “Why Does God Allow Suffering?” from Tim Keller’s Reason for God on RightNowMedia.

1. Do you know someone who has been through suffering and displayed inspiring faith in the midst of it? Share.

We realized that last week’s questions were geared toward answers rather than discussion, so this week we incorporated a few sharing questions that can build relationship and safety in the discussion, as well as serve as inspiration or illustration.

2. Read Rom 5:1-5 and review the following:

a. What is peace with God?

As you recall, Pastor Dave showed three usages of peace: 1) inner calmness, 2) interpersonal harmony, and 3) a treaty or agreement to end war. Peace with God encompasses the last two definitions. We see this more clearly as we read further in the chapter (verse 8-11). We have gone from being God’s enemies to being his beloved children. Far more than a ceasefire, or agreement of neutrality, we have true harmony with God in Christ.

b. What is justification?

In our home, we often use music to teach our children the truths of God’s Word (like the Seeds of Courage album I recommended a few weeks ago). This question reminds me of another set of albums we use, called Questions with Answers. These little songs teach children the basics of Christian doctrine and lay the foundation for a lifetime of learning and growing as Christians.

Their song “What is justification?” answers the question this way: “God forgiving all my sins and declaring me to be righteous” and references Romans 8:1: “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

Justification is the way that we are able to have peace with God. No longer are we condemned, but stand in the righteousness of Christ.

c. What are the benefits of justification?

The benefits of justification are shown throughout Romans 5:1-5. You may want to write out these verses on a large paper or white board or put them up on a screen for the whole group to see, then work together to identify the benefits of justification that are shown in this passage. You can circle, underline, or highlight them together.

• Peace with God (verse 1)
• Access to secure grace (verse 2)
• Hope in the glory of God (verse 2)
• Able to rejoice in any situation (verse 3)
• God’s love (verse 5)
• The Holy Spirit (verse 5)

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

d. What does God want to accomplish in our suffering?

This is a bit of a loaded question. God’s ways are not our ways, and his thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Is 55:9). We cannot know all purposes God has for suffering, especially for a specific incidence. And it is often counter-productive to hypothesize about it, particularly to others (“You’re suffering because…”).

On the other hand, God does give us some reasons for suffering. As we discussed last week (in question 2c), suffering can be for many overlapping reasons: discipline, spiritual warfare, persecution, God’s glory. And most importantly, he gives us many reasons to trust him and his sovereign plan even when we don’t understand why something is happening.

The suffering talked about in Romans 5:1-5 seems to be for the purpose of sanctification: God making us holy in our hearts and behavior. Through the Holy Spirit, God is preparing us to be with him forever in heaven (see James 1:2-4, along with 1 Thess 5:23 and Matt 5:48). We can endure hardship because we know it is helping us toward our ultimate goal of union with God (Eph 5:25-33).

3. What incident in your life can you look back upon and see the truth of Rom 5:3-5? How has God used your suffering for good in the past?
4. Define fear of suffering. What kind of suffering do you fear?

In our discussion, we came up with this definition: “I’m afraid to lose what’s important to me.” What’s important to me could be comfort, health, home, family, you name it. Discuss together to come up with your own definition that makes sense to you.

5. Watch the 5-minute video from Brett Merrick, “God’s Glory in our Suffering” and discuss the following:

a. What is the believer’s hope in suffering (Rom 8:28; 2 Cor 4:16-18, 12:9-10; Rev 21:1-7)?

We can have hope that God is working all things for our good. We can have hope that the eternal glory we will enjoy with God will make this temporary suffering seem small in comparison. We can have hope that God is most glorified - that he is more present with us and his strength is most displayed - in our weakness and suffering. We can have hope that we will dwell with God, and there will be no more suffering forever.

b. Discuss the concept of rejoicing and worshiping God in our sufferings (Job 1:21-22; Rom 5:3; James 1:2).

How can we rejoice in suffering? What does that look like in real life? How can we do it honestly and authentically without putting ourselves on a pedestal of spirituality? The Psalms give us good examples of this.

c. When we suffer well, with hope, what does that show the world around us?

The band The Sing Team plays a song based on Psalm 42 (Satisfied in You) that speaks about suffering well in authentic ways that worship God. One verse answers this question well:

Let my sighs give way to songs that sing about your faithfulness

Let my pain reveal your glory as my only real rest

Let my losses show me all I truly have is you

Suffering well shows God’s faithfulness, God’s glory, and God’s sufficiency to be all we need even when we have lost everything else.

6. How can a believer move from knowing the truth to experiencing peace and joy in the midst of suffering?

Many of us know the truth, but just like our discussion last week (question 7) about truly believing our identify in Christ, it takes a long time to get it from our brains to our hearts. This is a process that takes authentic, wrestling prayer (“I feel this way and I know you don’t want me to. I can’t help it, but you can.”), the power of the Holy Spirit to change our hearts and testify to us about the truth, and a community of believers who are praying with and for us and reminding us to set our focus on Christ.

7. Parents: In what ways do you prevent your children from experiencing the blessings of suffering/adversity/disappointments? In what ways do you help them see the benefits of these things?

In the same way that our culture wrestles with the idea of a loving God allowing suffering, we also struggle to see how allowing our children to suffer can actually be loving. But when we deny them the consequences of their actions, or shelter them from harsh realities and disappointments, we actually deny them opportunities to build character, grow strength, and to see God more fully.

We can help our children see the benefits of suffering, adversity, and disappointments by: providing them with logical consequences to their actions, showing/talking to them about the sufferings of others in age-appropriate ways, showing them ways that you serve and help others in their suffering, allowing them to be angry or upset about disappointments and helping them to work through those feelings in healthy ways. What are some other ways?

Break into gender groups to discuss the following:

8. Are you currently suffering? Able to rejoice/worship in it? Do the benefits of suffering seem worth it? How can your group help you not bail on your faith?

The truth of Romans 5:1-5 is not a burden to be placed upon suffering shoulders, but a lifting of the weight. We need to be cautious in approaching those who are suffering that we do not imply that they should be holding in their grief, keeping a stiff upper lip, or masking their pain with feigned joy. The Psalms are rife with examples of worshiping God through raw pain and grief. The questions, doubts, frustrations, and anger are normal parts of grief, and God is big enough to handle them all. Trust in him enough to walk through pain with your group members for as long as it takes, no matter how messy it is.

Facing the Fear of Rejection - John 15:18-16:1

By Amber Bruce

This is week 4 in our 6-week campaign, Fearless: Walking by Faith. This week, Pastor Dave preaches on fear of rejection from John 15:18-16:1. Again this week, there are a lot of questions and concepts to work through, so please decide beforehand which questions you will use for your group and, of the ones you use, which you will spend the most time discussing. Please consider making time for questions 6a and 7.

1. Share your insights from meditating on 2 Tim 1:7 this week.

Recall that we were using this technique from John Piper to meditate on 2 Tim 1:7, looking for propositions and conjunctions, restating key words in different ways, drawing out implications, etc.

2. Read John 15:18-16:1 and review the following:

These are review questions meant to go over some basic concepts from the sermon. If you have a more mature group, you may want to skip these or go over them briefly. If you have a group of younger Christians, you may want to spend more time here. But take care to get to the questions on the main topic: fear of rejection.

a. What did Jesus mean by “the world”?

Pastor Dave taught us three meanings of “the world” in Scripture:

1. All of that which God created. (e.g., Psalm 89:11)

2. All of mankind. (e.g. John 3:16)

3. The ungodly system of values, philosophies, beliefs, activities, etc. which sets itself against God. (e.g. Rom. 12:1-2; 1 John 2:15-17)

The third meaning is the one intended in our passage.

b. What do you see as the role of each of the Persons of the Trinity (the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit) in this passage?

This is from John 15:26-27. The Spirit “proceeds from” the Father, and is sent by the Son (Jesus). The Spirit is our Helper, who bears witness about Jesus to us and through us to others.

c. Christians often equate trouble, trials, and disappointments as God closing that door. How could this thinking be wrong in light of John 15:18-19?

This passage tells us that, rather than making difficulty the deciding factor in quitting, we should expect it as we follow and obey Jesus.

This may be a good time to discuss different reasons for trouble in our lives: discipline (Heb 12:4-11), God’s glory (John 9:1-3), persecution (1 Pet 4:12-19), spiritual warfare (1 Pet 5:8-9, Eph 6:10-12). These are not hard and fast categories, but can often overlap (see especially 1 Pet 4:12-19 along with 5:8-9, where the suffering talked about seems to include each of the above categories).

How would we know the difference between purposes in suffering? More importantly, how do we know the right response to suffering? The more you know God and his Word, the better equipped you will be to discern the purpose behind it. For example, Paul prayed several times for a particular type of suffering to be removed from him, and God’s response was to tell him that it would stay in order to keep him humble and to glorify God (2 Cor 12:7-10).

But not all suffering has a revealed purpose. For example, Job was a righteous man who suffered greatly, and was not given a reason for his suffering even though he sought it through prayer (Job 40:1-8). The right response in every case of suffering is to trust that God’s wisdom and power and goodness are higher than our own, and to submit in peace to his sovereign plan (Is 55:9; Rom 11:33-36; Rom 9:20; Rom 8:28). This is not a ‘pat answer’ or a cliché, but is deep, difficult truth to wrestle with in the midst of difficult times.

3. Brainstorm different ways to describe or illustrate “fear of rejection” (e.g., want other’s approval, afraid of criticism, want to fit in).

This is a broad overview to help each person in your group wrap their mind around the concept of ‘fear of rejection.’ It will look different for different people and in different situations. It could have to do with criticism, how others feel toward you, appearances, intelligence, “level of spirituality,” parenting, competency in work, salary, possessions, etc.

4. How might we go astray when we give into the fear of rejection?

When we give into the fear of rejection, it can lead us into all kinds of trouble:moral compromise, cowardice (lack of witness or boldness), telling white lies or outright lies, conformity to the world, disobedience, losing focus on the truth about God, and our children following our example of fearing men over God.

5. Parents: When are you tempted to make choices for your children based on what others will think?

This could be on big life choices like types of discipline, modes of education, and holiday celebrations (Santa/Easter Bunny/Halloween), or on day-to-day decisions like responding to unruly children in public, how I dress my kids, sports/extracurricular activities, and media choices.

6. Before coming to group, read the article “Don’t Let the Fear of Rejection Keep you Quiet” by Rick Warren. Discuss the questions at the end of the article.

There are three questions in this article. Please be sure to discuss at least the first question. This connects the discussion of fear of rejection to the concept of evangelism, which is the focus in our main passage (John 15:18-16:1).

a. Have you ever let your fear of rejection keep you from sharing the Gospel or inviting a friend to church? Think about what this means for your friend.
b. Do you feel unworthy of God’s love? How does your perspective toward God’s grace need to change?
c. What is something you believe God wants you to do that the fear of rejection has kept you from doing in the past?

7. Pastor Dave said, “The Scripture tells us and the Holy Spirit confirms who we are. In Christ, we are His beloved. He chose us. He has forgiven us. We are loved; we are accepted; we belong. All the truth we need to fill our souls we find in Him.” How could our lives be different if we completely believed this?

This is another question that we hope you will make time for, even if you have to skip others to do so. This addresses the crux of the issue: how do we move from fear of rejection to fear of God? How do we stop fearing others’ opinions and start living in the fearlessness of faith? It is as simple and as difficult as believing who God has made us in Christ. You may want to look up the verses from which Pastor Dave got these statements of truth, or assign as homework that group members each take a statement (for example, “In Christ, we are his beloved.”) and find a verse that tells us that truth.

Split into gender groups to discuss the following:

8. Use the scale below to rate yourself in regards to your fear of rejection in the following relationships:

1 – never 2 – rarely 3 – sometimes 4 – often

• spouse/significant other
• boss
• believing friends
• unbelieving friends
• coworkers
• small group
• parents
• family
• children
• other: _________________

Some follow-up questions to this could be: how does that affect your relationship with that person/those people? How can we as a small group help you (prayer, reminding you of your identify in Christ, etc.)?

9. Did you stand at the end of the sermon? If so, share why. How can we pray for you?